Today I drew the V of Trumps, Twice. I did not really feel like working with this card and drew again, but sometimes the Tarot will insist. The primary image comes from the Art Nouveau by Lo Scarabeo which depicts the card as a Rabbi. I really like this card because with-in the limits of my understanding the Rabbi best embodies the role of the card in the modern world.

I am not Jewish myself, I was raised to be Catholic, and found that I actually wasn't in my late teens. In Collage, I took a course in comparative religion that launched me into a lifetime interest. One of the things I find most interesting about the Jewish faith is the discussion of the scriptures. The Torah is the word of god, but what does it mean? What is the divine intent behind the words. Again, with-in the limits of my understanding this discussion is central to the faith. My experience of Catholicism was totally unlike that, articles of faith where handed out from the top down. Even today the churches position on controversial issues like choice are issued by the pope. The discussions and opinions of the congregation are of no matter. Personally I was just not well built for that kind of unquestioning environment.

So the Rabbi is the teacher, and also the defender of the traditions of his faith. Its another aspect of the role I appreciate. Until last year, I actively practiced Karate for quite some time. One of the things I liked best about Karate, was its history. It always struck me as important that the Kata's where a gift to the present from the masters of the past. I worked very hard to master the Kata's I studied. Kata is often disrespected and misunderstood right now. Seen as not relevant to a "Real Fight". It's not truly meant to be, the Kata, does several things. 1. It improves your balance. 2. It allows you to do your homework, a student can polish his technique on his own for hours and hours, between sessions, allowing him to concentrate on learning more advanced technique when with his teacher. 3. It links us together, the Kata's are products of a lifetime of study, and just carry a weight about them that a 20 min kick boxing tape does not convey. Ultimately it allows you to find your personal way of expressing your chosen style. Before we can transcend the style one must first master it.

The third aspect of the V of Trumps, is the one I find I must deal with again now. The keeper of the lessons we need to learn in the minors. Someone quite close to me has an substance abuse problem, and I am helping through detox, again. Its a lesson, I personally dont like repeating. Our collective fiction runs like this, a person develops a problem. His or her friends intervene. He wakes up and smells the pork rinds. Life moves on, lesson learned.

This is the third time at least I have seen this person through detox, and the second time this year. She turns to me, for the simple reason she has no-one else left to turn too. Its a burden, but I have never been good at quiting. Never found it acceptable to walkaway from a situation and say the devil take the hind most. Yet sometimes the last year it feels like a challenge. Just how much can I take before I just walk away. I dont know if the point of the lesson, is that I should learn how to walk away or just how much I can take.

Personally I've had enough of this part of the curriculum. Since I entered the state school at 12 years old, it feels like it has always been my place to be strong so others around me could survive being weak. I was raised on "skid row", I knew derelicts by name by the time I was 10. I know exactly what happens to people when the person they are counting on lets go of the rope. So far, I've never found it in myself to let go, but lately I've been counting the cost.

Thank you for your time, this cannot have been anymore pleasant to read than it was to write. Yet, if I am not honest in these essays why bother with them at all. So I hope I have not burdened you, rather simply expressed the truth of the moment I find my self in at this time.

Blessed Be, your holiday my friends. BB.

Divination: Ritualism, Orthodoxy, Tradition, Conformity, A religious or spiritual leader. Mercy, Kindness, Overt Reserve.

Reversed: Captivitiy to ones ideas, Clinging to ideas and principles that have become outdated, foolish exercise of generosity, Unorthodoxy, Renunciation.